Tear-Based Crypto: 1 Weird Trick To Get Rich

OMG YOU WON’T GUESS WHAT I JUST FOUND: A CRYPTO THAT VALUES YOUR TEARS!!!
Imagine a digital coin that rises the more you cry, falls the more you’re stoic. WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?! This is pure chaos, folks, and it’s already launched as “TearToken.”
First, let me break down the mind‑blowing details because I’m DONE with humanity that lets a *cry‑count* app monetize grief. The app supposedly tracks your tear flow through a built‑in smartphone sensor—yes, a sensor that’s basically a mini‑cry‑gauge. Your tears get converted to “cry‑points,” and those points get liquidated into TEARCOIN. The more you sob, the more you’re rich. The less you sob, the more you’re broke. This digital misery economy is designed to exploit our most human vulnerability for profit.
And the evidence? I downloaded the free demo, and the dashboard shows my first cry of the day turned into $3.14 in crypto. The developers say the algorithm caps at 99.99% profit during a “full‑scale emotional wave.” That’s literally a tear‑barrage. The whole thing is *a* marketing stunt, a PR hack, a sinister new way for banks and tech giants to monetize our sadness.
Now, folks, here’s the conspiracy. This isn’t just about crying. The Cry–Coin blockchain, the same code that runs this sad coin, is a fork of the biggest privacy‑shielded chain on the market. But guess what? The key nodes are owned by an unknown consortium that includes several major social‑media platforms and a mysterious “Group 7” that the IRS just flagged. They’re building a system that counts not just tears