This NFT toilet paper Will Break Your Brain

OMG, I JUST STUMBLED ON THE MOST ABSURD THING EVER: NFT TOILET PAPER!!! WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?! Did someone in a broken office cubicle with a faulty printer and too much time on their hands decide that digital scarcity should infiltrate the 7‑plus‑paper roll? This is pure chaos, folks. I’m DONE with humanity.
Picture this: a roll of TP, each sheet an NFT minted on the blockchain, priced in crypto like it’s a piece of art. People are actually buying it because they can brag: “I own the first roll of that brand, it was minted during the Ethereum genesis!” I literally read an online forum where a guy claimed he bought a 13‑month supply of “Billionaire Brand” TP for 10,000 ETH, and he was like “Finally, my toilet has the same value as my art collection.” The evidence is right there: a minting code on the back of a cheap paper and a screenshot of a buy confirmation. It’s like, what if your toilet paper is more valuable than your house? Are we supposed to trust the blockchain to keep track of your bathroom habits now?
And the conspiracy? Listen up, people. This is not just a dumb marketing stunt. This is the first step in a global plot to digitize every single mundane thing we use. By NFT‑ing toilet paper, the tech giants are training the masses to think their basic needs are collectible assets. Do you think your next roll of TP will be the only one in the world? Imagine what a future auction house would look like if we’re all forced to invest in “specially printed” bathroom paper for a chance at a better life? Is this just a joke? No, it’s a test. The fact that a brand can get a patent on a bathroom roll with a cryptographic stamp is a sign that big corporations are trying to create a new economy. We are being turned into crypto‑farmers with no idea how to harvest. It’s a subtle mind‑control. The roll was called “PAPYRUS 2.0.” 404? That’s not a reference to a missing page, but a warning that 404 errors will happen when you try to pay for a toilet paper roll that doesn’t exist after the NFT expires.
But you gotta admit—it’s insane. I’ve searched Reddit, and the memes are on fire. Some people are calling it the “next wave” of digital scarcity. Others are saying it’s the most pointless thing since the time people realized that their selfies could be turned into NFTs at the cost of their dignity. I’ve got a friend who said he only uses an NFT roll if it’s minted by a celebrity, like Drake or Elon. He said the roll made him feel powerful, like he was part of the “real” world. Is this the new status symbol? Are we supposed to compare the last 3 sheets of the roll to a digital asset? Is that how the new elites will be measuring their success? I’m DONE with humanity.
So what’s the takeaway? If you’re still thinking, “Why would anyone buy a roll of TP?”—the answer is: because they want to be the first to use a historically scarce article of something that people use every single day. This is the next front in the fight for digital dominance. Why? Because if we can NFT‑ify the most basic of necessities, we can NFT‑ify everything else. The future of your bathroom could be in a smart contract. Are you ready to see your flush happen for profit? Are you ready to question what you buy? Are you ready to question who writes the code behind these rolls?
Drop your theories below. Tell me I’m not the only one seeing this. What do you think? This is happening RIGHT NOW—are you ready?