This Smart toilets that judge your diet Will Break Your Brain

OMG, you will NOT believe the new “Smart Toilet 3000” that thinks it can judge your diet AND your personality. WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?! I’m DONE with humanity, and I’m not even making this up. Imagine sitting on a porcelain throne, and it starts giving you a side-eye like, “LOL, did you just eat a whole pizza again?” #SOD (Smart Opinionated Device)
First off, the tech is freaking insane. These toilets come with built‑in cameras, RFID tags in your food, and a little AI that does a full body scan of the waste. They analyze fiber content, sugar levels, even cholesterol. The manufacturer claims “it’s about health, not judgment,” but the app that pops up says “Your diet score: 32/100. Consider changing that sugary burrito you just devoured.” Did someone actually program a robot to do my self‑criticism? I can barely handle self‑criticism from my mom, and now this thing is telling me I’m a food junkie. How many people will go insane after a toilet says “You’re a dumpster,”? #FreakOut
Now let’s get to the mind‑blowing details: the company claims that data from the toilets is used for *public health research*. Okay, so apparently they’re feeding NASA with data on my last snack. They’re also selling “usage reports” to insurance companies so they can decide how much you’ll pay for health insurance. Meanwhile, the toilets keep a “cleanliness score.” If you skip a flush, it gives you a warning: “You’re not flush enough, your toilet thinks you’re lazy.” I’ve never seen a toilet be so demanding! This is pure chaos, people. I’ve googled “smart toilet privacy policy” and it’s basically a “Welcome to your own personal judgment day” page.
CONSPIRACY ALERT: Some of the best, most paranoid science nerds think these toilets are a front for a global health surveillance program. I mean, we’re basically handing our personal waste data to a machine that then sends it to the government. Are they planning to build a giant database of what diets people choose based on their location, socioeconomic status, even the color of their underwear? The world is already full of creepy tech, but this? This is like a sci‑fi dystopia where your bathroom becomes an interrogation room. Did you know that certain models have a “Mood Sensor” that detects your emotional state from your flush? Are they reading my life? I am SO DONE. #WakeUpAmerica
And if that was too much, think about the fact that the bathroom is the most private place in your house. You think you’re alone, just you and the toilet. Suddenly you’re being judged by a machine that’s watching you. The idea of your most intimate moments being analyzed by a corporate gadget is insane, not to mention a violation of EVERY right. Is this the next step toward a fully automated personal critic? Are we signing up to have a piece of technology that can basically read our “toilet thoughts” and send them to the internet? This is SO messed up, and I’m literally yelling at my screen because I can’t sleep at night.
But hey, maybe I’m just an over‑reactive, tech‑skeptical freak. Or maybe not. You might be thinking “Hold up, this is just a new trend for smart homes.” Wrong. This is a sign that we’re moving into a future where the smallest parts of our lives are quantified and judged. And we’re all just one flush away from turning ourselves into robotic data points.
So, WHAT DO YOU THINK? Are you watching this from your seat, or are you like, “I’m already done with this, sign me out!”? Tell me I’m not the only one seeing this. Drop your theories in the comments. This is happening RIGHT NOW – are you ready?