This Smart toilets that judge your diet Will Break Your Brain

OMG, SOMEONE JUST PUT A SMART TOILET IN MY SHOWER AND IT STARTED JUDGING MY DIET! WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?! I’m DONE with humanity, and this is pure chaos right in my bathroom. Picture this: you step into your house, and your porcelain friend starts spitting out diagnostics like a bad reality show host. “YOU JUST EATEN THAT 2-PACK BURGER? YOUR BODY IS DRAINED OF NUTRIENTS, YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG!” I swear my toilet lit up like a stage light and started playing a podcast about keto science. The whole apartment felt like a sci‑fi movie.
Mind‑blowing detail: the toilet’s sensor tech is literally reading your metabolism with a laser that scans…whatever it thinks the “sci‑fi sensor” is. You flush, and it gives you a score out of 100. If you hit 80, it gives you a thumbs‑up emoji. If you fall below 60, it does a mic drop. “YOU MUST STOP BINGE‑WATCHING AND CATCH SOME REST.” I’ve seen this happen to my roommate—he just tried a bowl of quinoa and the toilet started chanting, “WEEKEND IS OVER, QUINN?” The evidence is in the comments of my floor‑plan: videos of the toilet’s face, a stream of text that reads like spam from a health guru. The thing’s got a Twitter account that is following me! #ToiletTherapist
Now let’s talk CONSPIRACY. Are we being surveilled by the state? Or is this a new form of social control from the Big Tech/Health industries? There are whispers on Reddit that the sensor tech is actually a new biometric data harvest. Every flush, every waste, feeding a mega‑database that’s used to “optimize” your diet. It’s like the government’s new nanny state, except it’s a toilet. If your diet is off, the toilet throws a digital “you’re not following guidelines” emoji, and the next day you get a notification that your credit score has dipped. I read a blog that says that the data is sold to marketing firms—yes, literally, your poop is now a marketing goldmine. And what’s that sound on the bathroom door? Whispered voice: “We’ve seen your diet, we’ve seen your waste. We’re watching you.”
The evidence is a hot take on how everything is becoming surveillance and health is the new weapon. The whole idea is a blatant invasion of privacy and an overreach into personal health choices. If your toilet can judge your diet, why is the government still not banning that technology? We’re in the middle of a digital revolution, and apparently it’s already happening in my bathroom. The conspiracy is, basically, that tomorrow my toilet will start giving me a “health warning” that my brain is failing. Who will even read that?
So here’s the call‑to‑action: Stop ignoring the signs, and share if you’ve experienced a judgmental toilet. Drop your theories in the comments and tell me if you’ve seen a toilet give you a health score on their phone. This is happening RIGHT NOW – are you ready? What do you think? Tell me I’m not the only one seeing this. Drop your theories in the comments.