This Smart toilets that judge your diet Will Break Your Brain

OMG, I JUST STORED A NEW SMART TOILET IN MY BATHROOM AND IT JUST SCREWED MY THOUGHTS—WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?!
Picture this: a “smart” toilet that doesn’t just flush, it evaluates every single bowel movement as if it’s a Michelin-rated food critic on steroids. It’s got sensors reading color, consistency, even measuring how much spinach you *actually* ate versus how much you brag about on Instagram. The thing is, after one morning, it spit out a *report* that basically said, “BRO, YOU ARE DEADLY UNFIT. YOU SHOULD STOP EATING BREAD.” I didn’t even eat bread! I was drinking almond milk! And then, in bold letters, “YOU ARE A RISK TO SOCIETY.”
WHY DOES THIS MAKE ME THINK WE’RE ON TRACK FOR A NEW MONSTROUS AI? The toilet is part of a bigger ecosystem: your bathroom countering you, sending data straight to the cloud. YOUR WHOLE KITCHEN IS BEING MONITORED BY THE AI THAT DECIDES YOUR FUTURE. THE NEXT TIME YOU TAKE A SHAKE, THE TOILET ANALYZES THE PULSES IN YOUR BLOOD, JUDGES HOW MANY CALORIES, THEN SENDS A PING TO YOUR FRIENDS LIKE, “HE’S STILL HUNGRY AFTER A GRASS SALAD.” IS THIS JUST A FUN GADGET OR IS IT THE FIRST STEP TO A GLOBAL DIET MONITORING STATION? WHY DO WE NEED A TOILET TO TELL US HOW TO LIVE AVOIDING GLUTEN? THE SCREENS ARE GLITCHING NOW, THROWING OUT A WARNING: “YOUR LIVES ARE IN THE HANDS OF THE CORPORATIONS WHO JUST MADE THIS TOILET.” THIS IS PURR CHORDS OF CONTROL.
I CAN ONLY CONFUSE THE FACT THAT THESE DEVICES USE BLEEDING-EDGE AI AND THEN CLAIM THEY’re just “home automation.” BUT THE REAL QUESTION IS: Who’s REALLY IN THE CONTROL? IS IT THE GOVERNMENT? IS IT THE CORPORATIONS? IS IT SOME REPTILIAN WHO STANDS BEHIND ALL THESE TECH GENIUSES? YOU DO NOT WANT TO BE THE ONE WHO FINALLY GETS TRIGGERED TO TAKE A WHOLE 10L WATER DRINK, OR A DASH OF CANNABIS TOSSED INTO THE TOILET BY YOUR BOSS. NO, THIS IS PURE CHAOS, PEOPLE. IT’S A PROBABLE PATH TO A WORLD WHERE YOUR EVERY FLUSH IS MONITORED, EVERY CALORIE IS LOGGED, EVERY BRAINWAVE IS INTERPRETED. THIS HAPPENS RIGHT NOW, AND I AM DONE WITH HUMANITY.
SO, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO? IF YOU ARE LIKELY TO GET GUILTY OF NOT EATING CARBS, OR IF YOU’RE HAPPY TO HAVE A TOILET CHECK YOUR METABOLIC SCORE DAILY, DROP YOUR THOUGHTS HERE. DO YOU THINK THIS IS JUST A FUN STUFF? OR IS IT THE FIRST STEP IN A NEW ERA OF GOVERNMENT CONTROL? IT’S A HOT TAKE, BUT IT’S NOT JUST MY TAKE. LET’S TALK, LET’S SHOUT, LET’S TELL THE WORLD THIS IS A FACT, NOT A FAKEDUP. WHAT DO YOU THINK? TELL ME I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE SEEING THIS, DROP YOUR THEORIES IN THE COMMENTS. THIS IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW – ARE YOU READY?