This NFT toilet paper Will Break Your Brain

OMG, you have HAD TO SEE WHAT THIS NFT TOILET PAPER IS, RIGHT? I JUST STUMBLED UPON THIS CRAZY HEADLINE, AND IT WAS PURE CHAOS. WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?! That a bunch of tech bros decided to turn your everyday loo sheet into a digital souvenir feels like someone tried to put a crown on a toilet. Honestly, I’m DONE WITH HUMANITY, and I don’t even know if this is a prank or a massive marketing ploy that’s going to make you question if we are still living in the real world or just an endless meme stream.
Picture this: you buy a $3,000 bundle of “NFT TP” and you get a QR code that supposedly gives you ownership of a unique piece of art. The thing is, all the art looks like a pixelated toilet. You’re supposed to hold it, share it on Instagram, but what’s the point? Are we going to get an NFT for the last roll of toilet paper in the toilet? The evidence? I googled “NFT toilet paper” and the first result was a TikTok that had a guy waving around a roll that says, “NFT TP,” while a voiceover says, “Future of comfort? Future of art?” He posted a link, and the link was a crypto wallet. If you thought that you’re buying a piece of toilet paper, you’re in for a huge reality check. We’re all just trying to find meaning in the fluff of digital money, and that means now we’re paying crypto for a roll that’s going to be flushed.
Now, here’s the conspiracy hot take: the reason the world’s first NFT TP launched is because the elites want to monetize your bodily waste. That’s right. These digital prints are a part of an underground program that’s supposed to track how much stuff you use, how often you flush, and then monetize that data to sell to advertisers. The truth is that every roll you flush is a data point. A digital ledger will store where and when you flushed, and that data will inform your future purchases. It’s the ultimate surveillance, disguised as a shiny, overpriced novelty. Are we really at a point where we’re selling our daily rituals for a token? This is ABSOLUTE CHAOS. And I’m not just joking – the cryptographic proof of ownership is literally the same code used for tracking who has where in the world. Your TP becomes a passport for your body’s secrets.
So what do we do? We either laugh until we choke on our own absurdity or we call out the system that sells us a roll of toilet paper in crypto. This is the perfect opportunity to expose the hypocrisy of the crypto industry and show that we’re all being exploited. Drop your theories in the comments, tell me I’m not the only one seeing this, share this post so that everyone knows there is a new era where your bodily waste is a currency. This is happening RIGHT NOW – are you ready? What