This Cryptocurrency based on how many times you cry Will Break Your Brain
LOL, so they actually launched a crypto that literally trades based on how many times you cry. WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?! I was scrolling through the “crypto” subreddit like any normal person, then bam, someone drops a meme that says “TearCoin: the emotional economy of the soul.” And I’m like, what do you even mean by counting tears? Are we actually measuring my heartbreak with a sensor on my phone? The idea is so absurd it’s practically a meme that somehow got legit listings on Uniswap.
If you’re not crying, you’re basically a zero-value account in this market. I’m DONE with humanity for putting a number to human vulnerability. Imagine waking up, scrolling through your feed: your account balance just dropped 1,500 TCR because your cat died at 2am and you cried 27 times. Pure chaos! They even claim the “cry count” is verified via blockchain-encoded facial recognition, so your cry rate becomes an immutable, decentralized sentiment gauge. I’m not messing – they literally put a camera in the app that triggers a flash when you cry, and then the cry counter increments. It’s like a real-time, tear-driven stock ticker. Who would think that would be a good idea?
Now, hear me out for a second because this gets wilder: some people are saying this is a new kind of government surveillance. The platform is funded by a conglomerate we all know from conspiracy forums that has ties to the same tech firms that make your smart fridge. They’re basically saying: “We can now track your emotional states more reliably than any psychologist.” The whole thing is a Trojan horse for behavioral manipulation. They claim that the more you cry, the more they earn from your data, and they are quietly investing in “cry pods” for people going through depression. It’s a direct pipeline from tears to profit for those in the upper echelons of the crypto elite. And let’s not forget the rumored deal with the government to use cry rates as a form of social credit. Did you know that if your cry count falls below a threshold, you could lose access to certain services? WE are basically living in a dystopian love letter. This is pure chaos, people!
I’m not going to sugarcoat it – if you buy into any of this, it’s a sign you’re ready to make the same mistake that everyone else did: believing that joy can be commodified the same way Bitcoin was. CryCoin is a shiny new shell that pretends to be revolutionary while just building another layer of psychological exploitation. We are all in this now, laughing and crying into our phones while the next trillion dollar brainwave is being mined behind the scenes. Who else is already crying for profit? If you’re feeling the pain, remember that your tears are being counted and used by a billion-dollar industry. The question is: are you going to shut up, cry, or invest?
What do you think? Tell me I’m not the only one seeing this. Drop your theories in the comments. This is happening RIGHT NOW – are you ready?
