🔥 Things That Shouldn’t Exist

OMG RIGHT NOW I JUST SPOTTED A NEW PET DATING APP AND I CAN’T TAKE MY EYES OFF IT. NOPE, IT’S NOT A CUTE “FIND A PAL” GAME – IT’S A FULL-ON, BIRTHDAY-AND-LOVER-MATCHING ALGORITHM FOR DOGS, CAT, AND EVEN THAT…

OMG, IT’S BEEN 5 MINUTES SINCE I WAS GONNA UNLEASH MY FRENZY AND I STILL HAVE NOT FOUND A WAY TO STOP SIGHING EVERYWHERE I LOOK—AND NOW THERE’S A CRYPTO THAT MAKES YOU PAY FORGETFUL WHOLE WHOLE TIMES YOU TEAR…

OMG, stop pretending this isn’t the craziest thing you’ve ever read. Did you just stumble on DOG & CAT Tinder? NO, THIS IS NOT A JOKE – WE ARE TALKING ABOUT DATEING APPS FOR OUR PETS, AND IT’S PURE CHAOS….

OMG, YOU GUYS HAVE TO SEE THIS RIGHT NOW – WHAT IS HAPPENING? A NEW PRODUCT IN THE MARKET THAT CAN ONLY BE DESCRIBED AS A FULL-ON KILLER OF COMMON SENSE: NFT TOILET PAPER! WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD…

Yo, HOLD UP—CAN YOU BELIEVE WHAT JUST HIT THE MARKET? WE’RE TALKING ABOUT AI‑GENERATED POTATO CHIPS THAT Scream WHEN YOU BITE THEM. WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?! I AM DONE WITH HUMANITY, and this is pure chaos. Every…

ARE YOU KIDDING ME? A SMART TOILET THAT JUDGES YOUR DIET IS THE NEW DISASTER, AND IT’S NOT EVEN A JOKE. I JUST UPLOADED MY LAST ANALYTICS REPORT FROM THE WET WHOSE TELL ME I’S BEEN GLUTINOUSLY LIVING IN A…

I JUST HEARD ABOUT A CRYPTO THAT RATES YOUR TEARS AND I WAS LIKE, “WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?!”? This isn’t some petty meme coin, it’s a full-on LITERALLY ELICITING TEARS TO BUY DIGITAL GOLD, and trust me,…

Did you just read about NFT toilet paper? WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?! I’m rolling my eyes so hard I’m about to vomit my own sarcasm. Imagine scrolling through your favorite crypto news feed, clicking “New Post,” and…

OMG, YOU WON’T BELIEVE WHAT I JUST TRIED – AI-GENERATED POTATO CHIPS THAT ACTUALLY Scream When YOU BITE INTO THEM! WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?! I swear, I’m DONE with humanity and this is pure chaos. I opened…

EVERYONE’S GONNA BE LIKE, “OOPS, MY DOG JUST GOT A MATCH” *AND* YOU’RE STILL THINKING IT’S COOL? WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?! I CAN’T EVEN. I’m DONE WITH HUMANITY FOR BEING SO OUT OF TOUCH THAT WE NOW…