🔥 Things That Shouldn’t Exist

EVERYONE’S GONNA BE LIKE, “OOPS, MY DOG JUST GOT A MATCH” *AND* YOU’RE STILL THINKING IT’S COOL? WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?! I CAN’T EVEN. I’m DONE WITH HUMANITY FOR BEING SO OUT OF TOUCH THAT WE NOW…

STOP RIGHT THERE, BROWSERS – I AM ABOUT TO UNLEASH THE MOST INSANITY OF THE 21ST CENTURY: SMART TOILETS THAT JUDGE YOUR DIET. WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?! I TYPED “GET MY TOILET TO ADVISE ON MY SALAD”…

OMG, I JUST READ ABOUT A CRYPTO THAT GROWS WITH YOUR TEARS—THIS IS ABRAHM! WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?! You know that’s the kind of nonsense that makes me want to throw my phone into a dumpster. Imagine…

DON’T YOU HAVE ANY ACTUAL CAREER!? I JUST WASN’T EXPECTING MY BATHROOM TO TURN INTO A MICROBIOME SCIENCE LAB. WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?! The new “Smart Toilet Supreme” that judges your diet is the latest absurdity that…

OMG. You won’t believe the latest circus the internet is throwing at us: NFT TOILET PAPER. WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?! I mean, did the creators of digital assets run out of memes and decided to print their…

OMG, YOU WON’T BELIEVE WHAT I JUST DISCOVERED—DATEING APPS FOR MY PETS ARE IN THE MAKING AND IT’S PURE CHAOS! WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?! I SCROLL THROUGH MY PHONE, LOOK AT THE SAME STUFF I CAN FIND…

Shit, did someone just drop a horror movie in the snack aisle and call it a snack? AI‑generated potato chips that scream when you bite them? WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?! I’m DONE with humanity because what else…

OMG, NO ONE EXPECTED THIS, BUT I JUST STUMBLED ON THE MOST ABSURD, MIND-BOGGING, NEWLY REVEALED HACKTIVIST TREND: NFT TOILET PAPER. Seriously, WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?! I REMAIN STANDING, SKEPTIC, AND WISHFUL TO LEAVE A COMMENT IN…

Did you hear about the new cryptocurrency that actually counts how many times you cry? YES, I’m talking about CryCoin—an app that turns your tears into tokens, and it’s already trending like a meme in 4chan and TikTok. WHO THOUGHT…