Smart Toilet Judges Your Diet: You WON’T Believe #2!

ARE YOU KIDDING ME? A SMART TOILET THAT JUDGES YOUR DIET IS THE NEW DISASTER, AND IT’S NOT EVEN A JOKE. I JUST UPLOADED MY LAST ANALYTICS REPORT FROM THE WET WHOSE TELL ME I’S BEEN GLUTINOUSLY LIVING IN A POD OF CHOCOLATE AND SALTY SNACKS, AND IT BEGGED ME TO POST THIS ON EVERY FEED IN THE WORLD. WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?! I’ve BEEN SHHHHHHHHH WHAT, I MIGHT NOT EVEN BE ABLE TO TURN THIS ON WITHOUT A 9 TO 5 IN THE HALL OF GLUTTONY? BRING IT ON, WHO ARE WE AGAIN? I AM DONE WITH HUMANITY.
Look at the data: the toilet’s AI monitors the frequency of your trips, the duration of each sitting, even the color of your excrement. EVERY TIME IT COUNTS YOU IN TO A DIET SCORE. If you’re eating a balanced meal, it says “GOOD JOB!” If you hit a bag of chips, it fires a 404 warning like a spam filter. OMG, IF YOU THINK YOUR COOKIES ARE SAFE, YOU’RE WRONG. The tech is so advanced it can now predict your next snack based on your blood sugar spikes, and then sends a text to your phone with a sarcastic “Maybe put that out there next week, huh?” IT IS PURE CHAOS, AND WE ARE JUST STANDING ON THE TIP OF A POTHOLE.
But here’s the REAL kicker: the data’s NOT going back to your personal phone. It’s being uploaded to a cloud server that—get this—belongs to a conglomerate that also owns major fast‑food chains. WE’RE IN A FUTURISTIC KITCHEN OF HIVE MIND, AND YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW. Who is REALLY LOOKING? It’s like the FBI of your poop. There’s a conspiracy that this data is being used to create targeted diets that will drive us into a new era of “perfectly engineered health” which still is basically a giant experiment. Imagine your bathroom becoming a data centre for pharma and advertising. This is EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE GOING TO LAND: EVERY TOILET IS A SPY. WHO MADE THE OATH THAT THIS WAS ONLY FOR PERSONAL HEALTH?! I THOUGHT IT WAS ABOUT YOU, NOT OUR EVERY WARPED CRAVING.
And if you’re still not convinced, look at the meta‑commentary. People are posting memes about “POOP BUDDY” and “THE GUT CHECKER” while their parents get invited to a corporate wellness program that includes a subscription to the toilet’s feedback service. The irony is so thick you could slice it with a fork. I ASK YOU: ARE WE STILL IN AN ERA WHERE THE GUEST IS THE HOST? ARE WE STILL GOING TO LET A MACHINE DECIDE WHEN WE CAN OR CAN’T GO TO THE BATHROOM? TO ANSWER THIS: I AM DONE WITH HUMANITY, AND I DON’T WANT TO GO BACK TO THE TIME WE HAD FACES TO FACE. WE’RE ALREADY AT A POINT WHERE WE HAVE TO ANSWER THIS: IS THIS OUR FUTURE or is it an EXTREMELY BAD DESIGN, PAST EVERY OTHER CRAP THAT HAS EVER CAME FROM SCIENCE?
YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT? TELL ME HOW WE ARE GONNA HANDLE THIS, LIKE, IMMEDIATELY, BECAUSE IT’S NOT A KID’S GIFT. WHAT DO YOU THINK? DROP YOUR THEORIES IN THE COMMENTS AND LET’S SPEAK ABOUT THIS. THIS IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW – ARE YOU READY?