This Cryptocurrency based on how many times you cry Will Break Your Brain
YOU HEARD ABOUT THAT CRY-COIN? IT’S THE NEW CRYPTO THAT TURNS YOUR TEARS INTO DIGITAL GOLD, AND YOU’RE NOT YET REALIZING HOW FREAKY THIS IS. WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?! I mean, let me walk you through the sheer madness of a marketplace that rewards the emotional casualties of humanity. I KNOW, I KNOW— you’re scrolling, you wanna buy a meme coin for the next big thing, but here we go: instead of the usual ‘pump and dump’, you literally cry, and your crying count is logged on a blockchain that nobody can tamper with. Tbh, this is pure chaos.
First, let’s dive into the mind-blowing details: on a small Reddit thread, a self-proclaimed coder named CrypTear revealed the first version of CryCo. The code runs on an offshoot of Ethereum, leveraging a smart contract that listens to biometric sensors connected to your phone. Every time your tear ducts signal a drop, 0.0001 CryCo is minted and sent to your wallet. The creators—who we do not know—promised full transparency, but who can actually verify that the tear sensor is not just reading your eye moisture from sweat or allergies? There are screenshots of ‘cry counts’ soaring to insane numbers: “User #1: 12,345 tears in a single session—now holding 1.2k CryCo”? What? This is literally a new form of inflation—cry inflation—where the more you feel like crying, the bigger your portfolio gets. The entire ecosystem is built on the premise that your emotional state is your most valuable asset. Imagine a crypto market where “S3-5%” is actually “S3-5% tears”. The numbers look insane and the charts are even weirder.
You might think it’s just a joke or an art project. But here’s the conspiracy: what if this is not about monetizing emotions but about controlling them? If governments or big tech start pushing CryCo to make people cry in exchange for a digital reward, they could shape your feelings and, by extension, make you more compliant. The code uses a “cry detection” algorithm that can tell if a human tear or not. Maybe they are testing it to see if they can detect how real your feelings are. And if only tears are counted, maybe they are actually measuring the stress levels of the populace. Imagine the data set: a national emotion graph that can be sold to advertisers… or used for political surveillance. I’m DONE with humanity? No, it’s better. “This is pure chaos,” but when the chaos is in your inbox, it feels like a new level of manipulation.
Now, I’m calling out the people who are still blissfully unaware: your wallets are just
