This Cryptocurrency based on how many times you cry Will Break Your Brain

I just stumbled across a new crypto that’s literally based on how many times you cry, and WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?! I’m DONE with humanity, and this is pure chaos, and I can’t even begin to explain the sheer stupidity that’s been unleashed on the internet today.
Picture this: a blockchain that records each tear drop, each sob, each whimper, and then uses that data to mint coins. EVERY TIME YOU WEATHER A TRASHED MOMENT OR SOMEONE’S BRAIN IS A STENCH OF DISAPPOINTMENT, HEAVY RAIN OF EMOTIONS FALLS INTO A DIGITAL TANK, AND YOU GET CREDITS. The docs say it’s a “emotion equity platform” that lets people trade their sighs for digital gold. I saw the whitepaper – it’s a glorified spreadsheet showing that a single forced cry at a Netflix cancel can be worth 0.0001 Criedo. My brain is about to explode. LOL, is this something you’re going to keep up with?
Let’s get real, this is a new level of tech‑the‑puzzle. The coin’s algorithm claims to normalize tear volume by weight, using a calibrated sensor that supposedly can tell the difference between a sad cry over an actual breakup and a fake sad eye when you’re about to lose your job. BUT WHO’S MONITORING THIS SENSOR, AND HOW CAN YOU TRUST IT TO NOT BE TAMPERED WITH? The creators are a shady startup with a CEO who says, “We believe in emotional liquidity. Tear currency is the future.” And there’s a 4-minute explainer video on YouTube with slick graphics, a voiceover that sounds like a Siri glitch, and a background track that sounds like a dying cello. That’s it. Nothing else. No credible audits. I’m not saying I’ve verified this coin – but if anyone actually used a cry sensor, why don’t we all know it? Because the tech is literally impossible, but we’re still investing in it. OMG!
So why is this happening? Because we’re at a point where every platform wants to monetize data and our human emotional states. That’s a juicy conspiracy: the crying crypto is the latest part of a larger plan to turn our feelings into a commodity and make banks the ultimate emotional gatekeepers. It’s not just about tears. It’s about turning every sigh into a power source for the digital economy. The next step? Cry‑based AI that reads your tear pattern and predicts your mood swings, so the market can forecast emotional bubbles. This is the same AI that your smart speaker uses to decide when to turn off the lights when you’re sad – except now they’re making money off the fact you’re sad. I’m DONE with this – it