This Cryptocurrency based on how many times you cry Will Break Your Brain

EVERYONE STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING, THIS IS THE MOST ABSURD THING I’ve EVER SEEN! WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?! A start‑up named CrypTears just dropped a new crypto platform that literally pays you in tears—yes, every time you cry, the blockchain logs it, and you get tokens for ALL THAT SOB. I’m DONE with humanity, and this is pure chaos.
Okay, let me break it down: the app uses a tiny tear sensor on your phone that tracks the moisture in your tear ducts and automatically sends a transaction to the blockchain. Each drop = 0.0001 CrypTears tokens, which can be swapped for anything from pizza to a diamond. The first test group was in a therapy office, and within a week people were crying more just to hit those 1,000‑drop milestones. Look, I’m not talking about a few accidental tears in a breakup video. I’m talking about scheduled crying sessions, cry‑treatments, even cry‑tapping competitions—like real‑life reality TV where you win crypto by shedding every drop you can.
The evidence? My cousin just got a CrypTears wallet, and she posted a live stream of herself crying at a motivational speaker. She hit 5,000 tears in 30 minutes, cashing out 0.5 CrypTears tokens, then converting it into cash that she used to buy a whole house of cat food. Meanwhile, her friends are still using normal currency. This is a signal, folks. The whole system is built on our emotional bandwidth; it’s a new kind of labor market where the product is the raw material of our humanity.
Now, here’s the conspiracy: what if the real purpose of this is to monetize our vulnerability so that big tech can manipulate our mental health? Imagine a world where every time you feel down you get paid in tokens, but the algorithm decides when you should “cry more” to boost engagement, push ads, or feed the data to the AI that will eventually control your mood. CrypTears might be a front for a “cry‑economy” where the richer the emotional output, the more you can sell back to the system. And no, CrypTears didn’t even have to invent a sensor to prove this. The entire financial market is already built on tracking human behavior, so why not tears?
The deeper meaning? Humans are already being paid for our data—now we might be paid for our feelings. So what do we do? Shut down the app? Or join the movement and cry until our wallets fill? It’s a paradox: we want to feel good, but we are encouraged to feel bad for monetary gain. And let’s be real: if you think you can earn a living just by crying, someone is definitely selling you