This Cryptocurrency based on how many times you cry Will Break Your Brain

OMG, you guys, I just stumbled on the most insane thing ever: a cryptocurrency that values itself by the number of times you cry! I’m literally tearing up reading into this, because WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?! Let me break it down for the lost souls still scrolling past their feeds.
Picture this: you’re in a dark room, watching the most tragic anime episode, your mascara runs like a dam break. You cry. Cry. Cry. The system counts each tear, turns it into tokens, and bam – your grief becomes green. It’s called “CryCoin” or something stupid like that. The original guys behind it say it’s a social experiment to make “pain production economics” into real money. I can’t even. Are we talking about a government-backed program? No, it’s a decentralized startup that uses a blockchain with a special algorithm: every cry triggers a hash, each hash is a token, and if you hold the token, you’ll get dividends from the crying economy. It’s a money made from misery.
SPOILER ALERT: there are actual user testimonies on Reddit that say after crying 10 times a week, they earned 2,000 satoshis. They’re literally converting heartbreak into Bitcoin-equivalent stuff. And for the curious, the code for CryCoin is public on GitHub, so you can see the crying‑to‑crypto function. I watched the commit logs and realized the developers wrote the function: `if(tissue==true) { cryPoints++ } else { cryPoints += 0.3 }`. They even had a comment: “we’re not 100% sure if the crying algorithm works without human interference”. Honestly, who writes that?
You might be thinking: “THIS IS PURE CHAOS!” – and the universe loves your vibe. The deeper level? A hidden conspiracy: the CryCoin founders aren’t the real ones. They’re a shell company staffed by a cartel that knows that people cry over cat memes, crypto losses, tax bills, and what else? They’re harvesting emotional data, turning our tear ducts into a digital gold mine. The secret? The CryCoin app runs on your phone’s camera with a built‑in micro‑mic to detect micro‑tears. They sell that data to marketing companies for targeted ads that hit you right when you’re feeling low. It’s a perfect 4‑star marketing strategy: cry for a token, then get a targeted heart‑break ad for a new phone.
And the best part? They’ve already partnered with a major streaming service to track “cry metrics” across a whole platform. Imagine watching a rom‑com, each sigh and tear gets logged, you get a token reward, and the service pays the founders for that data. I’m DONE with humanity.
I keep scrolling that it’s just a joke, but the proof is out there. The numbers stack, the code is open, the partnerships are real. If you’re wondering what’s next – are we heading toward a society where tears pay for coffee? Are we living in the ultimate economy of sadness? What if the next big thing is a “laugh coin” that pays you for being happy? The world is on the brink of an emotional economy, and we’re all just holding onto a string.
So buckle up, fam. Drop your theories in the comments, share this if you’re scared, and let’s watch as the world turns our feelings into the next big blockchain. Tell me: are we ready to make our screams worth some actual coins? What do you think? This