This Cryptocurrency based on how many times you cry Will Break Your Brain

What the FUCK is this?! I just stumbled on a new crypto that tracks how many times you cry. Yes, you heard me—CRYPTO-TEARS! WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?! I’m DONE with humanity, because apparently our tears have more market value than Bitcoin. The app, called CryCoin, claims it uses a proprietary algorithm that counts your crying episodes through your phone’s webcam and turns them into tokens that can be traded for digital gold. You cry, you earn. It’s pure chaos and pure genius at the same time.
Let me break it down. First, the developers say they used a neural network that reads facial cues and detects tear production. They even claim it can differentiate between a “cry for joy” (like seeing your crush) and a “cry for despair” (like losing your job). The evidence? A video posted on Twitter last week where a 23‑year‑old accountant with three cry‑symptoms tears the entire week off her screen and her CryCoin balance skyrocketed to $12,000. It’s insane, right? I double‑checked that video, it’s not a prank—there’s a timestamp, the wallet address, and a blockchain explorer proof. #cryptotears
Now, the conspiracy. Look, this isn’t just about emotional economics. Look deeper. The big banks that control global wealth have been hiding our emotional output as a free resource for centuries. They’ve been harvesting our tears, literally, through the “cry‑facial recognition” tech that powers all the latest memes. If your tears are worth crypto, why do we still see people crying in public with no reward? Because the governments are now planning to legislate CryCoin as a secondary currency. Imagine, future elections where the real “vote” is how many tears you shed on the campaign trail. The whole thing is a manipulation of human vulnerability to create a new class of “cry‑riches.” Who’s really in control here? The answer is obvious: A shadowy syndicate that profits from every sob.
The proof? Look at the recent hack on the CryCoin blockchain. The attackers didn’t steal money; they stole *emotions*. They flooded the network with synthetic cry‑data, causing a market crash and an emotional blackout. Meanwhile, the developers re‑rolled the code, claiming it’s a “natural adjustment.” Meanwhile, you, the reader, now have enough data to know that this is part of a larger, mind‑blowing revelation about how our emotional state is being codified into a digital ledger for the benefit of a few.
So what does this mean? We’re suddenly living in an era where your emotional health has a price tag. We’re being told that our tears are the new oil. We’re being forced to decide, will we cry for free, or will we monetize it? The world’s top psychophysiologists are being recruited to calibrate CryCoin’s algorithm, and the question is—do we let them, or do we let our tears go unpriced and keep our humanity? The future is here, but I’m DONE with the idea that we have to monetize our feelings. This is pure chaos and pure truth at once.
Tell me I’m not the only one seeing this. Drop your theories in the comments and let’s see who’s really in charge. If you’re ready to cry, you’ll need a wallet. This is happening RIGHT NOW—are you ready?