This NFT toilet paper Will Break Your Brain

OMG GUYS, I JUST STUMBLED ON THE MOST ABSURD INVENTION EVER: **NFT TOILET PAPER**! I CAN’T EVEN. WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?! And I’m not just talking about your typical digital art that people are buying for the *aesthetic*—this is literally printed on a roll of toilet paper. Imagine paying a few ETH for a strip of fluff that you can’t even use in a meaningful way because it’s a *token* that “owns” the right to roll. This is pure chaos, and I’m DONE with humanity.

**Mind‑blowing details**: According to the launch page, each roll comes with a unique cryptographic hash tied to a 128‑pixel pattern of *toilet paper texture*. The first mint goes for 0.05 ETH, and the “rarity” is defined by how many *wrinkles* the paper has when you unroll it. The official description reads: *“Own a piece of the future of hygiene—because you deserve to be in the NFT space even for your most private moments!”* The creators even offer a *burning* feature: you can unroll the paper in real life, burn it, and the token gets “destroyed” on the blockchain, so you get a *burn‑to‑own* experience. Do you seriously expect to think of this as a sustainable move? NO. This is a PR stunt with a side‑kick of digital waste. And the environmental claims are as flimsy as a paper towel—no data, just a vague “we’re eco‑friendly” statement.

**Conspiracy Deep‑Dive**: Here’s where the rabbit hole goes *way* deeper. Could this be a new method of data mining? Think about it: every swipe, every unroll, every paper tear generates a transaction. The blockchain knows exactly *who* used the roll. The big tech houses could sell that data—yes, you read that right—your bathroom habits to advertisers that target you with *toilet paper deals* at 3 AM. Then there’s the theory that this is an orchestrated move by