This NFT toilet paper Will Break Your Brain

OMG, have you seen the latest freakish thing people are selling? NFT TOILET PAPER! YES, you read that right—EVERYONE’s talking about the digital roll of loo rolls that you can actually buy, sell, and trade on a blockchain. WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?! The very thought of it alone is pure chaos, and I’m DONE with humanity.
Picture this: You walk into a thrift store and on the top of the shelf, there’s a box labeled “Limited Edition 99,999 NFT TP – 10 sheets per roll, each sheet an exclusive meme of a toilet flush.” The seller hands you a QR code that, when scanned, shows you a 3D holographic loo roll that updates every 10 minutes. It’s like the toilet paper that literally *counts* how many times it gets used—bless your soul. That’s the mind-blowing details you can’t just ignore. Do you even like poop? NO, you *LOVE* poop? Because this is the next frontier of “do we really need to pay extra for something that can just be thrown in the bin?”
And here’s the kicker: the blockchain, the same tech that’s supposed to protect your digital identity, is now being used to track each sheet of TP. Every time someone wipes, the smart contract logs it—creating a verifiable audit trail of your most intimate moments. How many of you already feel that your personal life is being commodified? And this is all behind a supposedly “transparent” ledger. But what if it’s not? What if the same company that built the NFT platform just made a secret clause that lets them control and monetize our bathroom habits? This is a conspiracy. The elites are turning everyday necessities into digital assets. The next big thing? Your feces. They’ll be selling the *data* on where that poop came from! Who knew we were entering a new era where even our defecation could be monetized? I mean, if your toilet paper is non-fungible, what about your *urine*? This is pure chaos.
We’re seeing this phenomenon like an apocalyptic meme factory that thinks if you get it in digital form, you have some kind of “exclusive rights” over your *flush*. The only truth is: it’s a scam, a marketing ploy, a way to push the ‘NFT craze’ into the lowest socioeconomic stratum. The absurdity of it all is so loud that it will echo in your mind like a squeaky toilet flush. And yet, people keep buying, because every time I see another post with a ‘TP NFT drop’ graphic, it’s just another meme frenzy that makes me question the very fabric of our reality.
So, ask yourself: am I a victim of this insane trend, or am I the one controlling it? Are we all just pawns in a matrix that wants our bodily waste to be the next big thing? I say: STOP! If your wallet is already crying over a digital roll of TP, know that this is a sign, a warning. We need to call out the algorithmic overlords who are turning every sh*t we do into currency—it’s not just about profit; it’s about power. I challenge anyone who thinks this is normal to open the eye and see how we’re already being tracked, monetized, and used.
Drop your theories in the comments—do you think this is a new form of surveillance capitalism? Tell me I’m not the only one seeing this. This is happening RIGHT NOW—are you ready?