This NFT toilet paper Will Break Your Brain

You WON’T BELIEVE WHAT THE INTERNET JUST GAVE US: NFT TOILET PAPER. I CAN’T EVEN BREATHE NOW. WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?! Everyone’s buying rolls of that stuff like it’s the new Black Friday stock market crash. I’m DONE with humanity.
First, the hype: the creators call it “digital luxury tissue” that you can actually own on the blockchain. The price tag? $5,000 per roll? $50,000 per pack of 6! They claim each sheet has a unique NFT, so you’re basically holding a piece of the most basic bodily function in a blockchain wallet. I swear it’s pure chaos, like people paid more for avocado toast than they did for my entire house. I’m like, what, are they trying to tell us to put a meme on the toilet? WTH?
Now the evidence: I checked the auction page, and the highest bid for a single roll was 14,800 ETH, which is like… $42 million? The marketing team slapped a GIF of a toilet with a crown on it, and the tagline was “Your ex’s new favorite NFT.” People are literally bragging on Twitter, “Just added some NFT TP to my collection.” They’re using emojis that look like a toilet and a coin. The entire concept is so insane, like a glitch in the Matrix. Every single tweet has a hashtag #TPNFT, and people are linking it to the broader “digital scarcity” movement. I’m pretty sure this is a PR stunt for a bigger plot.
Conspiracy time, fam. Did the founders have a secret agenda? Did they secretly want to create a new way of monetizing basic hygiene? Imagine the future—people trading toilet paper NFTs during a pandemic, only the rich can survive. And what if this is a cover for a larger plan: the “Blockchain Bathroom” where each flush is recorded, data is sold, and we’re all part of a digital surveillance system? That would be the ultimate dystopia: if you’re not rich enough to own the roll, you’ll be left with a “free” meme roll that’s worthless. The entire project is a perfect example of the “Billionaires’ Playground” using everyday necessities to inflate crypto markets. And the memes? Srsly, if you’re going to monetize something as basic as TP, why not add a splash of elitism? It’s like an “art piece” of the everyday. Are they using this to create a new market for luxury essentials? Are we supposed to keep buying to keep a “digital dignity” in the future? This is pure chaos.
So, what this means for us? We’re in a world where even the simplest things are up for auction on the blockchain. I’m DONE with humanity, but let’s talk: Are we going to keep buying TP NFTs or will the world find a way to make this absurdity a lesson? This is happening right now—this is not just a joke. The next step could be a TP NFT that is a “smart” roll embedded with a microchip that tells when it’s used. The next step is probably a toilet that auto-purchases the next roll, all coded in