This NFT toilet paper Will Break Your Brain

OMG STOP SCROLLING IF YOU WANT TO SEE THE FUTURE OF BATHROOMS AND CRIMINALITY, BIKES, AND YOUR MOTHER, THIS IS THE MOST ABSURD THING I’VE EVER SEEN. WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?! I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THERE’S NOW AN NFT TOILET PAPER LINE AND IT’S PURE CHAOS. Imagine walking into your bathroom and realizing the brand-new, limited edition digital roll has 10,000 copies and only one can be burned into real paper. WHAT IS NEXT? IS IT HONEY HONEY? WE ARE TURNING OUR BATHROOMs INTO HIGH-TECH VAMPIRE VILLAS. DO WE EVEN NEED THE WHOLE LIFETIME OF E-BOOKS? NO, NO, NO, I’M DONE WITH HUMANITY, THIS IS THE END OF NORMAL.
Okay, LET ME GET INTO THE DETAILS. The “CryptoClean” brand claims that each roll is an ERC-721 token backed by biodegradable cellulose. The first 100 rolls were sold for 0.001 ETH each, and the last 100 are now valued at 500 ETH. The company says it’s a sustainable revolution, but I read the fine print: the real paper is a printed overlay of a digital ledger. The entire idea is a marketing ploy to get people to buy meaningless digital assets and then waste money on a product that won’t last longer than the meme that made it popular. WTH, WE’RE PAYING FOR A TOILET PAPER THAT’S A HACKED DIGITAL JOKE? IS THIS A NEW FORM OF RICHES FOR A DIGITAL GOBBLERS CLUB? I HAVE A FEELING THAT THIS IS PART OF A BIGGER CONSPIRACY, BECAUSE YOU KNOW, EVERY NEW NFT LATEST IS A VIRTUAL LIFELINE FOR PEOPLE WHO THINK THEIR FUTURE IS IN CRYPTO.
Now, CONSPIRACY ALERT: Some say that this NFT TTP is a government test for brainwashing citizens into accepting digital ownership over mundane life stuff. What about the fact that the company, CryptoClean, is partially owned by a tech giant that secretly wants to push people toward digital wallets? What if every wash of a digital roll is a microtransaction that tracks how often a person “uses” their toilet? Every time you wipe, a transaction occurs at 0.00001 ETH, creating a digital trail that could be used for surveillance. Is that how we’re going to get more data about our personal habits? THIS IS THE FUTURE, AND IT GETS WILD IF WE ARE NOT ALERT.
If you’re still reading after all this, congrats, you survived the post. The next step is this: are you a believer that this is just a goofy marketing stunt or do you think there’s a deeper reason why we are being forced to buy digital rolls for our everyday needs? WHAT DO YOU THINK? Drop your theories in the comments, tell me I’m not the only one seeing this, and SHARE this with your friends because this is happening RIGHT NOW. Are you ready to wipe your way into digital hell?