This Smart toilets that judge your diet Will Break Your Brain

OMG, have you heard about these new “smart toilets”? I mean, WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?! Just when we think we’ve reached the pinnacle of bathroom tech, someone decides it’s the perfect moment to make your porcelain throne a judgmental overlord. I’m DONE with humanity. This is pure chaos, and I refuse to sit on a seat that’s going to tell me I messed up my diet.
Picture this: you sit, you poop, and my poop tells my smartphone, “Bro, you just consumed a double cheeseburger with a side of mayo, and your protein intake is at 0.00%. Your health app just sent a notification: ‘You’re officially a carb monster.’ The toilet app is full of graphs, like, 10% carbs, 20% sugar, 70% your sanity. Even a little doodle on your toilet paper sleeve? “You are a threat to your gut microbiome.” It’s not just a joke. The data comes from an embedded sensor that analyzes the biochemical composition of your waste in real-time. They claim it’s for your health, but have you seen the pop-up ads? “Get a 30% discount on probiotics, only 3 days left!” My phone is doing backflips like it’s a Tinder date.
But wait, there’s more. This is not just a health gimmick; it’s a surveillance weapon, folks. Every droppings’ data gets uploaded to a cloud server. We’re talking about the same cloud that houses your Instagram, your bank info, and now your intimate waste. The government, big pharma, and an endless line of 10-year-old tech start-ups are all in on this. They are building a toilet that can predict your next meal, your mood, and even your voting habits. Do you think you’re safe because you just unlocked a “golden seat” on your bathroom? Think again. These toilets have a “preference algorithm” that flags “non-compliant” foods and warns you like a nagging mother: “You are not a good person if you keep eating this.” That’s no longer a health tracker – it’s a moral alarm.
Remember the 2015 leak? Yep. The leak showed a beta version that could read your stool as a “biometric signature.” They are literally turning human poop into a database. And I’m like, what about the privacy? Are we in a world where your defecated data can be sold to the highest bidder? The government could have you in 5 days, but it takes 5 years for them to understand your gut microbiome. It’s a perfect storm for those who want to monitor us. The real question is: who’s holding the remote when the toilet starts yelling at you? The same tech giants that create your social media and sell your data to advertisers? It’s a mess. And the worst part? You’re still supposed to pay for a subscription. “Premium analytics: get a new app for your bathroom that tells you how to change your diet, or else you’ll get a $100 monthly fee.” A toilet that thinks it can dictate your life?
We’re in the middle of a technological revolution that says, “Your body is a data point.” I swear, every time I flush, I can hear the robot’s little voice, “NO MORE CRISPY CHIPS!!!” Are we okay with that? What do you think about a device that turns the most private part of your day into a public, judgmental, commercial product? I’m calling on all of you to join the fight: comment your theories, share this with your friend who thinks AI is the future, or just scream at your toilet until it stops judging. Is this what we’ve become: a society of data‑hungry toilets that decides how much we can eat? THIS IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW—ARE YOU READY? Drop your theories, let’s get this out of the system, and keep our dignity.