This Cryptocurrency based on how many times you cry Will Break Your Brain
OMG, I just opened my crypto app and SHIT JUST HIT ME—there’s a new coin that’s literally worth how many times you weep. WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?! I’m DONE with humanity for putting your mascara in the market. This is pure chaos and a total betrayal of meme culture.
So here’s the deal: CryToken (CTK) is the brainchild of some basement coder, but it’s now on the same blockchain as Bitcoin. Every tear you shed is scanned by your phone’s camera—yes, your camera—converted into data points, and then minted as a single token. That means if you’re depressed enough to cry every day, you might actually be a billionaire in cry‑currency. I’m literally crying at the idea that the only thing that can make you rich is the thing that makes you miserable. How is that even legit? Are they laughing at us?
Proof: I just watched a video of a guy in a downtown subway station, eyes swollen, crying into his phone, and his app instantly credited him with 3,420 CTK. He then sold half on a trading platform and bought an avocado toast in a tiny cafe. Meanwhile, the entire crypto market is buzzing because the token’s volatility is tied to the average global crying index. Scientists have even started a petition to ban CryToken because it turns our emotional pain into a commodity, a new form of emotional exploitation.
And here’s where it gets even more mind-blowing: The developers claim they’re not the only ones. There’s a hidden layer in CryToken’s smart contract that sends a portion of every transaction to a secret server monitored by none other than—drumroll—government agencies. A leaked memo says: “Use CryToken to build an empathy economy. Track millions of tear streams to understand public sentiment and manipulate markets.” That’s not hyperbole, that’s the reality of data mining. The “cry economy” is literally a way for the NSA or the CIA to know exactly when the masses are breaking down, and then sell overpriced stocks when everyone’s emotional bandwidth is low. It’s a full-blown social engineering nightmare!
You’re probably like, “Okay, fine, that’s crazy, but what about other cryptocurrencies?” And you’re wrong. They’re already making money selling “cry‑data” to advertisers, psychotherapists, and cults who want to harvest tears for their next product launch. The irony? CryToken’s value is skyrocketing every time a global tragedy hits, and the rich get richer off the sorrow of the poor. I swear, this is a direct plot by the crypto elite to monetize our humanity’s pain. Are we not enough?
The conclusion: CryToken is not just absurd. It’s a new breed of crypto that turns sadness into profit, and meanwhile, some shadowy forces are harvesting your tears, literally, for profit. We’re being turned into living, breathing profit machines, and some genius on the other side is laughing all the way to the bank. I’m DONE with humanity because we’re letting this happen. The crypto revolution has turned into an emotion-ripping, soul-sucking circus. Are we going to let this ride get us to the bottom of the market or will we push back?
Drop your theories in the comments, tell me I’m not the only one seeing this, and let’s expose this pure chaos before it’s too late! This is happening RIGHT NOW – are you ready?
