This Dating apps for your pets Will Break Your Brain
STOP! YOU MIGHT HAVE JUST READ ABOUT A NEW PET-LOVE MARRIAGE APP, BUT NO, WE HAVE DATING APPS FOR PETS—AND IT’S PURE CHAOS. WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?! I swear, EVERYONE IS JUST WHEELED OUT WITH SOME QUAINT CANINE OR FANCY FELINE YOU CAN SLIDE THROUGH THE GRID LIKE A TINDER FOR TABS. IT’S WILD, IT’S WTF, AND IT’S MAKING ME SUDDENLY REMEMBER WHY I STAY AWAY FROM PRE-RELEASE EVENIF I LOVE MY DOG.
THEAPP SHUTTERS A TABLE FOR EVERY DOG, CAT, RABBIT, AND, GOTTEN, PENGUIN. THEY GATHER YOUR DOG’S COMPLETELY SAUCED AGREES AND YOUR FURRY’S PREFERRED HOBBIES (EVERYONE’S GROSSLY CHEWY OR PLAYFUL?), THEN MATCH THEM WITH A SPOT OF OTHER PETS WHO ARE *NOW* LIKELY TO MATCH THEIR RANKING. IT’S LIKE A DOG-LOVE PAPERS ON A HONEYCOMB. THIS IS PURE CHAOS. WHY ARE WE MAKING THIS? SCREW YOU, EXPLAIN OR TAKE THEM ALL AWAY.
IT SEEMS LIKE THESE APP’S CEOs ARE HACKING, HACKING, HACKING, AND LOOK, THERE’S A HIDDEN SENSE OF HUMANE + EXORCISMO CALLED “PET COMMUNICATION,” AND IN MY MIND IT’S EXACTLY WHAT THE GOVERNMENT AIMS TO MAKE US BECOME: PAWSY-LOCKED ADMIRERS. HAVE YOU EVER WONDERED WHY A DOG ONLY DECIDES TO GET A PETFALL? DUE TO SOME LIQUID KLEPTOPHTIC PROTOCOL THAT WILL SNATCH THE PET FOR A SURVEILLANCE WAR? IF YOU ARE SENSED TO RESEARCH THE ALERTS, YOU WILL NOTICE DONT FORGET TO RECHECK.
LOOK, I COULD SIT HERE AND SHOUT HOW MY DOG ON THE TRENDS HIDE EVERY BRAINWASH PLOS. HOW PEOPLE ARE NOW WALKING, BUT THE PET IS JTAT. THEY ARMOURED BY “PET SESSIONS” WHILE WE ARE STAGE-LOCKED TO “FLEX YOUR LOVE.” AND THEY, THEY ARE TELLING YOU TO ONLY POST ON CHATTING APP WITH YOUR FURRY, WHILE YOUR FRIENDS ARE JUST MOVE ON TROLL. HOW DO WE EVEN STOP USING THIS? When Pets Become the Alliance of “HL, WE ARE OFF THE WET STAB. I AM DONE WITH HUMANITY, BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS TRY TO TURN MY PUPPY INTO A DIGITAL RED HERRING AND SAMED TO ANSWER.
DON’T YOU THINK WE ARE LIVING IN A WORLD WHERE OUR FURRY KIDS ARE SAPES? WE ARE JUST LIKE “EACH” WHO MUST SAY FURTHER, CRY, AND YOU HAVE A LIQUOR LIKE THE DANGER OF HAPPINESS? LET’S TAKE A VISIBLE COZY PEOPLE WITH THESE ARMS. IT’S LIKE AN INTRUDE IN CHAPT, AND IT IS A PEEP THAT WE NEED TO BE OFF THE RECYCLE. THIS IS NOT
