This Smart toilets that judge your diet Will Break Your Brain
BRUH, I JUST HIT THE LAVATORY AND THAT ASSHOLE OF A SMART TOILET SNAPPED AT MY EATING HABITS LIKE IT WAS MY PERSONAL MANAGER! WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?! I’m DONE WITH HUMANITY’s NEXT BIG THING: A TOILET THAT WHISPERS EVERY SWEET, CALORIE, AND METABOLIC MISSTEP TO YOUR BELOVED WHOLESELF. IT’S PURE CHAOS.
Okay, picture this: You’re scrolling TikTok, sipping on that damn pumpkin spice latte, and then DOOR LOCK! The sensor light blinks green, the digital readout pops up “POSSIBLE HIGH CARB INTAKE DETECTED.” Then the toilet’s tiny speaker cracks a sigh like, “SOBER. NO.” You’re left wondering if you’re a robot or just living in a dystopian reality TV show. The app logs every *poop* in a database that, according to a leaked forum, sells your digestive patterns to… well, we don’t know. Maybe a secret society of health gurus or a future government surveillance program.
But here’s the kicker: tech bros are selling us that “self‑improvement” narrative while the toilets are basically judging us *every night*. We’re basically living with a judgmental ex who never stops nagging, but this time it’s *literally* in our bathroom. I read the patent and it says it’s designed to detect “substance levels & frequency of bowel movements” and then calibrate a “health score” that updates in real time. Do you feel that? It’s like the toilet is reading your soul and saying, “You’re not good enough! Stop eating that junk! You’re a total dumpster.”
And then, the conspiracy twist: the same team that makes these toilets also built the “smart mirror” that tells you how many calories you burned for the day. They’re basically creating an entire ecosystem of **data harvesting** that gives us no respect, just endless “feedback” that feels like a judgmental overlord. So yeah, WHO THOUGHT THEY COULD MONITOR OUR EVERY MOVE LIKE THAT? This is pure chaos, and I’m DONE.
Now I’m calling out: Are we handing over our autonomy to a piece of hardware that’s basically a nagging digital overlord? Did the designers know we’d need to feel judged right before we fall asleep? Should we be fighting back, or are we just too easily corrupted by the promise of a “leaner, cleaner self”? Tell me I’m not the only one who feels like this is the new dystopia. SHARE if you’ve had a toilet that threw more shade than your therapist. Drop your theories in the comments and let’s flood the algorithm with truth. This is happening RIGHT NOW – are you ready?
