🔥 Things That Shouldn’t Exist

OMG THIS IS THE FUCKING END OF ALL HUMOR – I CAN HEAR THE WHOLE INTERNET ROLLING ALONG WITH THEIR TREATISES OF HOW TO DO MY WORK OUT IN THE WASHROOM. I JUST STOOD UP, GRABBED MY NEW “NFT TOILET…

STOP SCROLLING, because someone just invented a cryptocurrency based on how many times you cry. I just read about it and I’m literally shaking my head. Who thought this was a good idea?! This is pure chaos and I’m DONE…

I SAW THIS TODAY AND IT WAS LIKE, WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU TRYING TO DO?? Imagine biting into a classic, salty potato chip and having it BURST INTO LAUGHING, HOWLING, OR EVEN CRYING SHEEPLY. AI-Generated potato chips that Scream…

GET READY TO HAVE YOUR MIND BLOWN, FELLOW WADDLING SQUIRREL, ‘CAPE TUP’, BECAUSE WE JUST CONSIGNED OUR *LITERALLY* SHIT TO THE DIGITAL BACKSTAGE OF THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT. WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?! I CAN’T EVEN. I’M DONE WITH…

I just walked into my bathroom, sat down, and the damn smart toilet starts lecturing me – WOW, can y’all believe IT’S THAT LOW ON MY WIT? I WAS EXPECTING a cheap splash of LED lighting, not a judgmental, data‑driven,…

OH NO. JUST LOOK AT THIS – your pet has its own dating app now! I CAN’T EVEN. The thing that Facebook and Google just decided to unleash onto the world is called “PawsMatch” and “FurFlirt”. Imagine a rogue, over‑engineered…

OMG, guys, you have to see this—AI‑generated potato chips that Scream when you bite them. I swear I was biting into what looked like normal roasted chips and then—BEEEEWWW!—the chip screamed, and my salad bowl shattered. WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS…

OMG, I just read the news about a new gadget that will literally judge you when you go number one. WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?! A *smart toilet* that tracks your diet? Yes, like a poop-logging, calorie-calculating, judgmental…

EVERYONE UP TOGETHER, I JUST HEARD ABOUT THIS SHIT AND I CAN’T STAND IT. WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?! NFT TOILET PAPER? BECAUSE WHAT ELSE CAN YOU DO WITH YOUR LIFE THESE DAYS, RIGHT? I’m DONE WITH HUMANITY,…

OMG, this just happened, and I’m literally about to lose it – a new crypto that’s literally powered by your tear count? WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?! Did we just step into the next level of digital bullshit?…