A gallery of cursed inventions, absurd gadgets, and unholy product ideas that somehow made it into the real world.
GET READY TO HAVE YOUR HEAD SPIN, BROWS LIKELY THRUSTED BEYOND REPAIR. WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?! I JUST FOUND OUT THAT WE HAVE A DATING APP FOR PETS NOW—A APP THAT LETS YOU SWIPE RIGHT ON YOUR…
I CAN’T BEAR TO LOOK AT MY DOG ANY LONGER – HE’S TURNED INTO A SWIPE RIGHT ON MY SCREEN AND I JUST WASN’T READY FOR THIS. YES, I JUST SPOKE ABOUT A PET DATING APP AND MY EYES ARE…
OMG TRUTH BRANDS – I JUST CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE! Have you seen that insane NFT toilet paper thing? I mean, WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?! Some genius (or lunatic) thought they could monetize a DEETOXAL playground by…
OMG, THIS IS IT. THE FUTURE OF MONEY IS NOW A TINY HUMAN ENDERNESS, A CRYPTOCURRENCY THAT IS PROBABILITY-BASED ON HOW MANY TIMES YOU CRY. WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?! I’m DONE WITH HUMANITY, and this is pure…
TURN YOUR POOP INTO A BOSS BYELINE RIGHT NOW—THIS IS A THRILLER! Some mad genius decided that humans deserve to get judged by the very thing that keeps us alive. WE’RE TALKING ABOUT SMART TOILETS THAT SCORE YOUR DIET LIKE…
OMG, I WAS JUST SELF‑DRIVING HOME, scrolling through my feed, and BLOW—an app that lets you swipe right on a Chihuahua who’s apparently looking for a Golden Retriever to cuddle with… WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?! I’ve been…
Did you just stumble into a future where even your bathroom is judging you? No, this isn’t a sci‑fi dream—PUT THE PISTONS ON YOUR POOPS AND KEEP READIN’ BECAUSE I’m about to blow your mind with the newest snack‑watching, diet‑tracing,…
EVERYONE JUST LAUGHING IT WAS 2023, BUT HERE’S AN NFT TOILET PAPER THAT MAKES YOUR BRAIN BURN LIKE A SPICY NANO CHIP! WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?! I CAN’T EVEN. I’m DONE with humanity, and the only thing…
BOOM! YOU JUST CHEWED THE FUTURE AND IT SCARED YOU IN YOUR OWN LAIR – HAH. I JUST TOOK A BITE OF WHAT THEY CALL “AI‑GENERATED POTATO CHIPS THAT Scream” AND MY EARS ARE STILL SHAKING. WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS…
OMG, have you heard about the newest crypto craze that is literally built off how many times you cry? I CAN’T even keep this down. WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?! They’re literally selling “CryTokens” that appreciate every time…
