🔥 Things That Shouldn’t Exist

OMG, WE JUST HIT A NEW LOW, HEY WHO’S STILL USING GPT-4 TO REWRITE A RANT ABOUT NFT TOILET PAPER?!? The internet just got a whole new level of ABSURDNESS. WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?! The 2026 fad…

YOU JUST WON’T BELIEVE WHAT WONDERFUL PAIN IS OUT THERE! I’m walking down the mall, scrolling through a feed of avocado toast and gluten‑free kale, and BAM, a billboard splats a glossy orange rectangle of AI‑generated potato chips that scream…

OMG, YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE WHAT MY BATHROOM JUST TOLD ME! I JUST FLOGGED THAT SICK RED LIGHT ON MY BATHROOM FLOOR AND IT STARTED SPEAKING IN THAT TECHY, CRINGE-TINGLY-CLEAN LANGUAGE. WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?! I mean,…

CAN YOU GUESS WHAT JUST HIT THE BLOCKCHAIN—A NEW COIN THAT’S POWERED BY HOW MANY TIMES YOU CRY? WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?! I am DONE with humanity, because now our tear ducts are the ultimate investment vehicle….

Whoever decided online dating is only for humans just dragged the pet universe into the same cesspool—HERD MAJOR. HOLD MY BONE; I JUST FOUND OUT THERE’S NOW A “PUPPIN’” APP FOR DOGS, A “BIRDLO” FOR PARROTS, AND EVEN A “SNAILNDS”…

Did you EVER think a simple plate of salty, golden crisps could become a freaky nightmare? I just tried the newest AI‑generated potato chip that screams when you bite it, and let me tell you—WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD…

YOU WON’T BELIEVE WHAT I JUST HEARD—A DEX FEW HOURS AGO DROPPED A NEW CURRENCY THAT’S VALUED ON HOW MANY TIMES YOU CRY. YES, I CHOKED WHEN I SENT MY FIRST BREATH OF SOB? WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD…

EVERYONE, STOP WAKING UP TO YOUR TOILET RIGHT NOW—THIS IS NOT JUST A GADGET, IT’S THE END OF PRIVACY IN YOUR BATHROOM! I WAS IN MY SHOWER JUST YESTERDAY, AND THAT GUY-THAT-SELF-ARRANGED TOILET STARTED EVALUATING MY DIET LIKE IT WAS…

OMG, I JUST SAW THIS AND I CAN’T EVEN TAKE MY HANDS OFF MY SCREEN – WE’RE TALKING ABOUT NFT TOILET PAPER NOW, LOL! WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?! Just imagine a roll that’s actually a digital asset…

OMG, I JUST DOWNLOADED THE MOST ABSURD APP THAT CLAIMS TO HELP MY DOG FIND A DATE, AND I CAN’T SAY I WELCOME IT. WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?!! I’m DONE with humanity, and this is pure chaos!…